Vanity Fair Celebrates ‘100 Years of Paramount’ With 116 Movie Stars…& The Biebs?

Posted: June 12, 2012 in Movies

Admittedly, this picture is all kinds of awesome – the one or two glaring mistakes withstanding – it’s a testament to the star power that has passed through Paramount Studios in the company’s 100 years of existence.  Names and faces like Kirk Douglas, Ernest Borgnine, Robert DeNiro, Martin Scorcese, Steven Spielberg, Harrison Ford, Jack Nicholson, Patrick Stewart, and Meryl Streep.  The list is literally endless and the picture (seen above – linked below) is an accomplished feat that probably won’t be rivaled anytime soon.

We’ll take a quick examination of the photo…from left to right…

– The top of the left peak has Julianne Moore, Ed Harris, Richard Gere, and George Clooney at the top; this is ok in my book.

– Then you have the MAN Bruce Dern standing next to (more like behind) “that chick who replaced Megan Fox in the Transformer movies”…what the fuck?  Since when being a model and having maybe three speaking lines in the only movie you’ve ever appeared in constitute being pictured with the industry’s all time greats?  What the fuck Vanity Fair?

– George Takei, Andy Garcia, and James Caan look right at home on the Paramount steps…but then it all comes crashing down with the way they made Robert DeNiro – THE Bob DeNiro – sit on a side step like a fucking boob.  I mean, he looks like he’s about to fall off the damn mountain because Zoe Saldana (admittedly gorgeous) is in his way – why is she in this picture?  No justice for the Bull! None!

– Funny guys Adam Sandler and Chris Rock anchor the bottom steps, and I’m ok with that.  The two have produced big hits for Paramount over the years.

– Zachary Quinto and Chris Pine (Spock and Capt. James T. Kirk) aren’t too far away, but the only problem I have is that JJ Abrams is over by Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz.  His place should be with the people who put his name on the mainstream map and resurrected a dead franchise.

– Harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg arming each other is touching and fitting…but why is Charlize Theron there with them?  She’s amazing, but her arm doesn’t need to be with Ford’s and Spielberg’s.

– Jack Nicholson is the man with his own step.

– At the top of the far right mountain peak is Robert Downey Jr. and Jon Favreau, fittingly together.

 

 

– THEN YOU HAVE JUSTIN BIEBER LOOKING LIKE A GIGANTIC DOUCHE BAG HANGING OFF A TOP STEP (how the hell did he get placed on a top step to begin with?) NOT BEING SERIOUS AT ALL.  MEANWHILE YOU HAVE ALL THESE AMAZING ACTORS AND DIRECTORS BEING COOL AS FUCK TRYING NOT TO BASH BIEBS FACE IN WITH A RUSTY METAL PIPE.  WHY VANITY FAIR?  WHY?!?

You can view the photo up close and personal here.

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